News and Events

- Mitesh Ravi (3rd year, SOEL)

Every conversation has the potential to turn into an argument and few of it can decide your future. Each day we deal with various kinds of people and if we are not paying attention, if we say something which can ruin the conversation or jeopardise our situation. It’s important are to know that there effective ways of respond to tough situations.

The following “R-List” of categorized tactics can help you do just that. When responding to a potentially negative situation, facility with them can help avoid damage to an important relationship or disarm a threat to your credibility:

Reframe — Cast the issue in a different light. Describe the other person’s words or actions in a way that behoves future interactions. If someone says, “I don’t want to fight about this,” a useful reframe of that comment is, “This is a debate, certainly not a fight. And you’re a good debater, as I recall.”

Rephrase — Say the words in a different, less negative way. Should someone accuse you of having come on too strongly in a meeting, you might reply, “I was passionate.” If you’re described as stubborn, you could say, “I’m very determined when something is important to a successful effort.” Rather than let inaccurate or offensive words pass, suggest replacements.

Revisit — Use an earlier success to redefine a current failure. If the people involved in a conversation have a previous history of positive interactions, it can help to remind them of past success and their ability to find common ground: “We have a good track record working together. No reason to change that now.”

Restate — Clarify or redirect negative wording. Anyone can inadvertently give offense or spark disagreement. At such times, it’s useful to employ one of my favourite strategies: Give them an opportunity to do the right thing. “Surely there’s another way to say that” or “Did you mean what I think I heard?” are useful ways to encourage a person to reconsider and alter what was said.

Request — Ask a question. When in doubt about a person’s intention, one sensible approach is to check your perceptions by querying them before responding negatively: “Would you clarify for me what you meant just then?”

Rebalance — Adjust the other person’s power. People cede power unnecessarily when they allow another individual to make them miserable or undermine their work. Often, such power imbalance can be changed. One way is to reduce the impact on you with your attitude — refusing to be upset — or by saying, “Fortunately, I’m not easily offended, especially by one-off situations like this.”

Reorganize — Change the priority of the issues. Direct the conversation away from personal concerns by concentrating on process. For example, one comeback might be, “We seem to agree on the what but are having some difficulty with the how.” In this way, you cut the problem in half. The focus is now on only one aspect of what might otherwise appear to be an intractable impasse.

Versatility separates effective communicators from those who are pushed and pulled through conversations — and life. The next time you face what appears to be a roadblock, whether due to offense or confusion, consider the types of comebacks above. Experimentation is the only way to become at least 75% responsible for how we’re treated. Otherwise, we spend much of our days stuck in ruts, being predictable, and getting nowhere. There’s no fun or benefit in that.

The above said tactics must be added with a key element of perseverance, on should have a strong belief that at the end of the conversation he must convince the other party. This would help them to make a comeback in the conversation.

The essence of negotiation is to have a fruitful relationship in the future and it can only been archived if we realise that a conversation is not just about winning, but to create a win-win situation it can be if both the parties concentrate on common grounds.